WALHT- add detail to our writing. Lost and found.

Yesterday we wrote a narrative based on a made up video we watched. Everyone wrote the same story but made it different their own by changing it a bit. We have two writing groups, Ender dragons and the Withers, I am in the withers who were focusing on adding detail to our writing, by using repition for effect and describe how the character is feeling (emotion) by painting a picture in the reader's mind.

WALHT - add detail

Success Criteria	Self Assessment
I will describe using repetition for effect	😁😁😁
I will describe how the character is feeling (emotion) by painting a picture in the reader's mind	😁😁

5.11.19

                               Lost and Found

Tears slowly slid down Alice’s pale, white cheeks. She felt sick to the stomach.“When is he coming back?'' she whined. Sitting, waiting, watching, pacing, “When is he coming back?” The vast desert went on forever, snakes gliding along the light brown, hot sand. It would be hard to stay over night out there, without hardly any food or water.

Finally, Alice built up the courage to ask her mum if they could go out looking for him, she was afraid to, because of what they might find, but decided it was the right choice. Along the way Alice took photos of wild flowers on her Ba-xi and sent them to her dad to let him know they were coming.

It was getting darker and darker, and eventually it was pitch black. The dimly lit headlights made it hard to see and creepy shadows danced around on the road, they made Alice’s head spin. After some tedious hours on the bumpy, rocky road, they saw a black jeep that looked exactly like her dad's car. Suddenly a dark figure came sprinting up from over the hill. “Alice!” Her dad shouted, “My car broke down and my phone was out of service” he puffed. “I’m so glad we found you” mum and Alice cried. And tears slowly slid down Alice’s face once more, but this time they were tears of joy.